Transform Challenges into Personal Growth
Victor Frankl, the late Austrian psychologist and Holocaust survivor once wrote, "Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space lies our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and freedom." I had read this phrase many years ago with a great deal of reflection. Over time, it had started to fade in memory until recently, I came across it in a different book (Lori Gottlieb's "Maybe You Should Talk to Someone"). Again, it struck me how profoundly this idea can shape our lives, particularly in the realm of leadership and personal growth.
Imagine, you’re an entrepreneur. You’ve got a small, but energetic team in place. You’ve tested your product-market fit with some early adopters, and have received great feedback. You’ve also been pitching to potential investors for a few months. At first it was slow, but it has picked up and you have a consortium of investors who have expressed a great deal of interest. After three meetings, you’re convinced you'll have a firm commitment from them as early as next week. You’re excited and your team is feeding off your excitement. On Friday morning, you get the bad news. They won’t be moving ahead - the stimulus. I went through this myself back in 2017.
The Negative Response
A natural, instinctual response to this might involve feelings of rejection, humiliation and even shame. “I’ve let my team down” or “They don’t want to work with me”. And while those can be often temporary, there are some other, potentially worse thoughts that could linger for longer, namely, doubt. “Am I good enough?” or “Maybe my pitch could have been better” or the dreaded, “I’m a failure!”
Such responses, though natural, can lead to a spiral of negativity. Dwelling on rejection fosters a mindset of inadequacy. Humiliation morphs into a fear of judgment prompting defensive behaviours. This can result in a lack of transparency, perhaps even fabricating a narrative to save face, or losing your confidence. And before you know it, this mindset is blocking your personal and professional growth.
The Positive Response
Now, let’s consider an alternative – a positive response. Taking a moment to breathe in that 'space' that Frankl talks about, you bring awareness of that power to choose to your consciousness and reflect before reacting. You choose to see the event not as a failure, but as an opportunity. A chance to appreciate your team, to acknowledge their hard work and to reassure them. "Yes we worked hard for this. Yes we were expecting it to happen. But gives us a chance to fix some of our bugs, improve the product, get some more customers onboard, and improve our KPIs before we approach a new set of investors. What can we learn from this?"
By reframing the stimulus, you focus on growth, embrace transparency and communicate honestly. So, the next time a challenging situation arises, take a moment in that space. Choose your response wisely, and watch as you transform challenges into opportunities for growth.